Love so much it hurts

I don’t know if it’s the weather, or hormones, or sleep deprivation or a combo of all 3 that have made me so emotional today but today I have had three of those “Hurts So Good” moments.

 

The moment your baby wakes in her crib and says “Ma-Ma-Ma” as you walk in to greet her.

 

The moment when your wiry 2 year old climbs on you lap and snuggles in her blanket “nest” as she lists all the people she loves. (Grandma Barnes, Auntie Sadie and Dora rounded out the LONG list)

 

The moment when your (almost) 4 year old say “Mommy, I know what B-A-T spells.  Bat!” and is so proud of his new found reading skills that you can physically FEEL him beaming.

 

The moment when your heart feels so full that it feels it might just burst.

 

The moment when you are nearly moved to tears because of pride, awe, love and thankfulness.

The moment that cancels out all the moments of doubt, regret and self-consciousness.

 

The moment when you feel with every single part of your being that you are doing this right, that your children are thriving and loving and growing.

 

The moment you know what it means to love so much it hurts.

 

It’s amazing and humbling to feel this.

 

And then it passes and you are back to setting “sharing timers,” and cleaning up spills, and breaking up spats, and changing diapers, and worrying about their futures and chugging enough coffee to get through it all. All the while hoping the memory of these moments will keep you fueled through all the muck.  That they will keep you full until the next time their purity, sweetness, and love shines through brighter than anything else. 

These moments are just enough to reassure you to carry on and continue your work as a teacher and a mom because these rewards of a full heart are better than any job could ever pay.

 

So keep calm and carry on.  Your moments of heart-bursting bliss might be just around the corner, waiting to fill you up.