October 24, 2013

Fast Forward

Ok Moms, we've all been there. The well-intentioned older lady at the checkout telling us to "cherish every moment."

Well, I am calling bullsh*#

With 3 little ones, there are certainly times I'd like to fast forward. Tonight was one if them. No joke, it's 3:45am and I'm nursing Hattie while blogging, strategically planning how I can squeak just one uninterrupted hour of sleep for my fever-ridden, sinus-congested body. 

Let me give you a rundown of events that have transpired since 7:30pm.

**note: All 3 kids are sick, as am I. Our normal sick day sleeping arrangements go as follows: Paul, Hattie and Me in our room, Emmy in the kids' room and Tanner in the back/spare room.

7:30pm- Emmy and Tanner down for bed. Hattie is crying because I had to put her down mid-feeding to do this.

8:00pm- get Hattie to sleep 

8:30pm: Tanner wakes up sweating and crying 
8:40pm: get Tanner back to sleep 

8:45pm: Hattie coughs and wakes herself up crying

8:47pm: Emmy Lu wakes up screaming

Guess I won't be watching Law and Order SVU tonight.

9:00pm: get Hattie swaddled and back to bed (meanwhile Emmy is crying for me on the living room)

9:01-9:30pm: Rub Emmy's back and get her to sleep.

10:00pm: Paul gets home!!!! FINALLY BACK UP HAS ARRIVED. We talk for no more than 10 minutes 

10:15pm: I decided to go lay down.

10:30pm: Emmy wakes up in a fevered fit. I go to help her but her screaming wakes up Hattie so Paul comes to comfort sick little Emmy while I tend to baby.

10:30pm-1am intermittent bouts of screaming, coughing, crying by Emmy which unintentionally wakes a resting Hattie. Paul and I divide and conquer. He takes Emmy duty in her room. I have baby in ours. 

1am- Emmy pukes in her room, forcing Paul to set up camp in the living room with her as the puke stuff gets thrown in the laundry tub to be dealt with AFTER SUNRISE.

Can this get any better? 

2:00 am: Tanner comes in my room to tell me he is "coughy" and has to pee. I help him back to bed and lay next to him. 

2:30 am: Sneak back to bed, checking on the couch campers (Emmy and Paul) first. Paul is up. Emmy just peed on one side of the sectional couch leaving Paul without a bed. 

2:30-2:40am: Clean couch. (Without waking a FINALLY SLEEPING Emmy Lu) Tell Paul to go sleep back with Tanner.

Just living the dream...

3:30am:Hattie wakes up to nurse. Feed her and put her back to bed.

4:00am: Hear Emmy screech in the living room. Go to her and hope like hell there is no puke involved. There is not. WHEW! Try to console a very sick, very overtired 2 year old before caving in and putting on Curious George.

Thank goodness for cartoons at times like these.

4:19am:Finish blogging while I finally get Emmy to drink the juice with fever reducing medicine in it.

4:22 am: make Emmy's bed and put her in it so she has atleast a small chance of sleeping in.

5:30: My coughing disturbs Hattie's slumber but the 1 hour of sleep was divine!!

5:35 am: Get Hattie back to sleep.

5:45am: Paul's alarm goes off for work. I get up to wish him off to work before sneaking into bed and hoping to squeak out another uninterrupted hour.

7:22 am-Up for the day. The dog needs to be let out. Thankfully, all three children are sleeping still. I think I 'll lay on the couch (the non pee side) for a little bit while I brew some strong coffee.

After a night like mine, I'm sorry well-intentioned older lady. I am not going to "cherish" these moments. I am sick, sleep-deprived, haven't showered in who knows how long, and am the main care provider for three little people who happened to be just as sick and miserable as me (or possible more so).

I'm absolutely aware that there are people out there with real problems, big problems. I am also aware that this is the life I chose. I chose this life, so it's time to suck it up, put on my big girl undies and deal with it. 

That being said, the reality is that it really sucks sometimes. I guarantee no parent looks back and "cherishes" these moments with their children. I am entirely convinced that much like childbirth, the cute, satisfying moments with our children causes amnesia so that those sweet old ladies actually MEAN when they say "cherish every moment, it goes so quickly." They don't remember this junk or if they do look back at it through rose colored lenses.

Because I guarantee if they had just walked the past 12 hours in my shoes, they'd be lookng for a fast forward button too.


  1. As the Southern old lady would say "bless your heart"

  2. Yeah, I'll be calling in reinforcements from Nana today. I don't think there is enough coffee and DayQuil in the county to make me walk amoung the living today.