Heartbroken

I spent much of yesterday afternoon either on the verge of, or in tears. Upon hearing the news of the mass shootings in Connecticut, I was in shock.

Disbelief.

Kindergarteners?? Why??

I feel like many people around the nation and world probably felt the same way and had the same questions.

Who could do this? Why would they do this? How does this happen?

I am not writing this because I think I have any of these answers. I only wish to help sort out in my own mind how to process these events, grieve appropriately and probably hardest of all try to move on with a sense of security that was seemingly shattered yesterday with the loss of 20 children and 6 of their educators.

After the initial sadness for these families and parents sinks in, leaving a pit in my stomach, we are faced with the reasoning or rationalization of such tragedy. How can we make something so messy and broken fit into our worlds? This is the place where I feel religion plays a tremendous role in healing. For those who have a God and turn to Him, I know this can bring comfort, strength, and eventually forgiveness and healing.

For someone like me, who chooses a secular life, the desire to understand horrible events is the same. I take comfort in the fact that the community and people all over the world are sending their thoughts and best wishes towards those affected. I take strength in knowing that tomorrow will come, then the day after that, then the day after, etc. I find strength in the fact that I will be spending these days with my children, husband, and those I hold dear. I will eventually find forgiveness, not for what this shooter did, but for the fact that he was most likely a sick individual who for unknown reasons took such an evil path. I will try and remember that even people who choose to do horrible things were at one time innocent little babies. It doesn't make what they did any less horrible or tragic. It does, however,humanize these events and remind us that at a very basic level, we are all similar.

No matter your coping mechanisms, I feel it is important to acknowledge these feelings of grief and insecurity we have after a random act of violence against the most helpless of victims; children.

Hug your children an extra time or two before bed, call your mom and tell her you love her, pray, participate in a vigil, or whatever you have to do to feel better.

Then remember that although these tragic events could happen anywhere, thankfully, they don't.

Tragic

Heart-breaking

But rare.

Although it sounds generic, my thoughts truly are with the people of Newtown, the families of slain educators, the parents of babies taken too soon.

I honestly hope that these events inspire thoughtful conversations on humanity, gun safety, and mental illness awareness.

It seems like these tragic losses keep happening in vain without the thoughtful rhetoric that should go along with them. It's not a more guns vs less guns argument we need, or a school security system overhaul, or even a blame game on certain types of people in our society.

We need to dive deep into humanity, realize things do not happen in a vacuum. We are connected. We are all connected. Those children lost, in a sense, were OUR children. The shooter was OUR neighbor or a kid we used to know. This is the world we live in.

The choice we have to spread love, positivity and warmth is our own.

It will not stop individuals from committing acts of violence against their fellow humans but when given the choice, I know, that positivity, love and compassion rarely steer you wrong.